I’m at Brinnon’s parents’ house spending Christmas with them.  They always make me feel like I’m already a part of the family.  I love them all!!

My face seems to be getting some better.  I can taste sugar just a little bit today!  It is amazing.  I’m still having a hard time eating most things but, at least food is starting to taste like food again. 

Last Monday, I noticed that I was having a little bit of difficulty tasting my food.  Tuesday, I could taste almost nothing on my whole tongue.  Wednesday, I could only taste food in a small area in the back on the left. Thursday, my tongue was completely numb and I decided to go to the doctor.  She said it was really odd and that she didn’t know what could have caused it.  She went ahead and ran some bloodwork anyway.  Friday at lunchtime, I noticed that I was having a harder time eating and keeping the food where I wanted it.  By 2:30, my right cheek and eyelids were numb.  By 3:30, the right side of my mouth wasn’t doing much of anything.  I called the advice nurse who said that if I was in pain or I lost strength in either arm or leg, to go to the ER, otherwise, they’d refer me to someone on Monday.  I had an appointment at 4:30 to see the chiropractor and when I got there, he asked a bunch of questions and refused to work on me until I went to the ER and not to leave there until they gave me a brain scan of some kind.  He then called the ER and told them I was coming.  I went and had a CAT Scan where they ruled out things like a brain tumor, slow leak hemmorrhage, MS and a couple of other things.  Then they determined that I have something called Bell’s Palsy.  They believe that it’s caused by a virus that’s related to Chicken Pox and Shingles.  It attacks the seventh cranial nerve (the facial nerve).  I’m on a couple of meds that might help.  Here’s hoping.

It’s good to have a name to put on what’s going on, i.e., almost no sense of taste, dizziness, headache, inability to close my right eye, almost no control of the right side of my mouth (dribbling when I drink, can’t purse my lips, difficulty eating from a spoon, can’t seal lips), crooked smile, little control of right eyebrow.  I have to tape my eye shut when I sleep to keep it from drying and getting infected.

The bad news:  It may be permanent.  10%-20% of people who get it, don’t get over it.

The good news: It’s not life threatening like some of the other things it could be.  Some people recover over the course of a year but others recover within 3 weeks.  I’m shooting for the shorter experience.

I’m trying hard not to feel sorry for myself.  I know a lot of people are dealing with a lot of worse things.  I’m still having a bit of a hard time with it though.  It is unbelievable how much I miss tasting anything sweet.  There is a place in the back on the left where I can still kind of taste salty and sour things.  Bitter’s there a little bit too but, it’s not very pleasant without sweet to balance it out.  Any who read this, please pray that it doesn’t last long or that I at least come to accept it.

It occurs to me… I’m getting married in less than 6 months!!!

We’re in pre-marital counseling.  It’s not that we think that we have issues… it’s that we want to try to talk things through before they become issues.  It’s not like regular counseling.  The pastor gives us topics to discuss that will likely come up later.  It’s more like marriage prep.   

At any rate, the wedding’s getting closer and closer and 

The next big thing we’re working on, as far as wedding plans are concerned, is the guest list.  It’s a lot harder than you might think to narrow down a list like that.  There’s only so much seating and there’s a lot of family and quite a few friends.  We really don’t want to neglect anybody.  If I could, I might just have everyone I know be there to help celebrate our special day. 

Extreme Yays:

1.I paid off my dress!

2.Brinnon’s adopted grandparents are printing all of the stationary for us… for free!

3.Rose (from work) and her sister are making our cake… for free!

4.Brinnon’s parents are paying for the photography!

5.Sarah (from work) is going to do my hair… for free!

6.Julie’s going to do my makeup… for free!

7.Mama’s going to make our jewelry… for free!

Things are really coming together for us and it’s amazing.  I mean, I never really thought I would get married and then when Brinnon asked I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.  Now, even though I wouldn’t be able to afford a very nice wedding myself, family and friends are making it so that we’ll have a lovely wedding without much money.    Great big Yays!!!

.

P.S.  I’m such a girl sometimes.

Everyone is urging us to remember 9/11/01 today.  My question is… how could we forget?  Most of us who were there remember not only that it happened but, where we were and what we were doing when we heard about it.  How could we forget the day our world shattered?  The day the United States of America came under attack…  We were safe and sure we would remain that way… until we heard… until we saw. 

While everyone is urging us to remember that day… I urge you to remember the days and weeks that followed.  We helped eachother.  Those who could give blood… did.  Those who had money or supplies to spare… did.  We grew closer to our families.  We grew closer to God.  We remembered our veterans and treated our military personnel with the respect they deserve.  We remembered that we live in one of the best countries on the planet and, for a while, we acted like it.  So, if what happened in 2001 matters to you, and it should, help other people, give blood if you can, donate money or things you don’t need anymore, talk with your family, talk with God, remember our veterans and treat military men and women with the respect they deserve and remember that you are an American*. 

*If you are not an American, the rest still applies.

Granny was able to go home over the weekend.  She’s staying fwith Aunt Phyllis for a while.  She’s doing much better and is as cantankerous as always.    She’s able to walk around without help and is up cooking and cleaning a little.  Happily for her, she can curl her hair again.    Thank you to any who prayed or thought good thoughts in her direction.

Happy Birthday… me!

Happy Birthday Uncle Richard!!!

Well, it seems that Granny is having open heart surgery on Monday.  She’s having a double bipass and they’re going to either repair or replace her aortal valve.  It’s a little scary actually.  She went to the doctor on Thursday and he wanted her in for surgery the next day.  She refused because Friday was Uncle Eeyore’s birthday.  So… she’s going in on Monday.  Please, anyone who reads this, send up a short prayer for my Granny on Monday.

Work:

I’ve been busting my tail to get the Training Schedule ready to be published.  It’s finally done.  Whew.  That’s a huge load off my shoulders.  Now, I can concentrate on the million other things that have piled up while I was working like mad on that.  I’ve discovered a problem with being really capable at work.  The more you prove you can do, the more they expect you to do.  LOL!  Sometimes I wish my boss had just a little less faith in my ability to do my job and part of everybody else’s.  At any rate, that being done means a little less stress.  Yays!

Budget:

Not going nearly as well as I wish it were.  I have more medical bills than I used to which means I don’t have much in the way of extra money to throw at Bill#2.  I am so glad I paid off that first bill… I’d be seriously underwater if I were still making that $106 payment every month.  I need to completely re-work my budget though to see where I can scrape something a little thinner and where I can’t.  I actually think it was a lot easier to keep track of everything when I was getting a paper bill for all of the bills instead of getting some on paper, some in my email and some just automatically debited without notice.  This weekend, I’m going to try to come up with a better way to keep track of everything.  I recently found out that I’m being charged $12 a month for the particular payment option I’ve been using for a bill that’s $40 a month.  So, I’ve been paying my $40 a month for a while and only $28 of it has been applied to the balance.  This, my dear readers, is exactly why I usually read over every bill very carefully.  I don’t even have an excuse for not reading this one for… who knows how long.  This also happens to be what I refer to as Bill#2.  I’ve wanted it gone for so long and I’ve been sabotaging myself.  :Insert facepalm here:           I’ve also been allowing myself to get lazy with writing things in my register.  If I know I have a little money to play with, instead of writing every purchase down, I just guess in my head and spend away.  This has gotten me into a little bit of trouble.  I had to borrow from savings to avoid overdraft fees…  I’m going to start back up tomorrow (payday) keeping track of every bloomin’ penny.

Wedding:

Brinnon and I have been talking some about wedding stuff.  We need to talk more about it though.  I have a lot of things in mind that are different from what Brinnon has in mind.  I’m cool with the less expensive option a lot of the time but, he’s really into quality and all that.  I’d be cool with just having someone we know take pictures with a nice camera.  Brinnon seems to really want a professional who will take pictures at multiple sites and lighting conditions.  I agree that it would be really nice, I’m just not sure where the money for a professional photographer is going to come from.  As with most things, a lot of the wedding plans seem to come down to what it will cost.   

Church:

I’ve decided, after much prayer and contemplation, not to teach my Sunday School class when the new school year starts.  I’ve cried a lot about this one.  I love teaching the class.  I love being a part of the youth ministry.  It’s just that… my life is going to be changing a lot in the next nine months and I don’t know that I’ll always be available.  Brinnon and I have been visiting eachother’s churches and I feel like I should attend his a little more often.  I’ve only gone about every 2 months.  I’ve also felt guilty about it because I wasn’t there to teach my class.  I have a lot more to say on the subject but, I don’t know that a public blog is the place for it.  At any rate, I think it will be really nice to be in a class for a change.  I haven’t been in a class since I was 19.  I know there is a lot more to learn so, this should be a good change, even if it’s not going to be an easy one. 

Random:

Julie and the boyos are at Camp Elkanah this week.  I wish I were with them.  I am constantly on the go when I’m at church camp.  I’ve helped in the kitchen a lot, I’ve been the KP coordinator, I’ve run the Canteen, I’ve been a cabin counselor, I’ve helped lead the music, I’ve run Joyful Noise, I’ve been a teacher… While I don’t get much chance to rest, I love being there.  I miss being there.  I just hope they’re all having a good time.   Hmm…  I’ve had physical therapy twice now.  It’s going okay.  It hurts like crazy but, my range of motion has increased dramatically.  Next week, they’re going to have me start walking with one crutch instead of two.  That will be nice and make it a lot easier to carry things.     Oh, on a much different note, I’m trying to come up with a way to turn at least part of the garage into a kitchen so I don’t have to cook upstairs anymore.  It would be so nice to get up in the morning and walk a short ways to the place I’ll be cooking breakfast.  I already have a mini-fridge and there’s plenty of freezer space in the garage.  There are a bunch of cupboards that I could empty.  Now, all I really need is a stove or other cooking surface.  Even if it’s a couple of portable burners and a toaster oven and a microwave, I think it would work great.  The parents have suggested that Brinnon and I live downstairs for a couple of months after we get married.  On the one hand, I know it’s a bad idea and I really don’t want to.  I wouldn’t even be living there now if I could afford to leave.  On the other hand… we would be saving so much on rent that we could pay off several bills in just a couple of months.  Yet again, it boils down to money.  I hate money.  I say this while eagerly awaiting the arrival of my paycheck (direct deposit).  Oi.  I hate having such an unsure future.  Where will we live?  Will the medical bills ever be gone?  Will I ever be able to quit this job and raise a family?  Such is life, I suppose.  

Well, I’ve been on crutches for a few weeks now.  It’s really hard to go up and down stairs so, I’ve been going to my room through the garage.  As much as I enjoy being by myself, I’ve been feeling really isolated.  It doesn’t help that I only get to see Brinnon on the weekends.  Happily, I can finally drive myself to and from work.  Julie came and picked me up last night and I hung out with her and Dennis and the kiddos.  We watched So You Think You Can Dance.  It was soooo nice to get out of the house socially.  It had been three weeks.

I’m thinking I need to not take any more Vicodin for a while.  Yes, it helps with my knee pain but, I’m finding myself having withdrawal symptoms when I come off of it or don’t take it.  I’ve been feeling really depressed and irritable when I come off of it.  It was so bad the other day that I felt like I couldn’t even read a book… while laying in bed.  It’s been a couple of days since I took any and my knee is hurting a lot but, I’m not depressed or anything.  Perhaps, I should talk with my doctor.