“Is that a guy that looks like a girl, or did two women get out of that car with Just Married on it?”

“Maybe it’s her sister.”

“OK, we were already in San Francisco, California, so now we’re moving it to San Francisco, Alabama.”

International flights: terminal 5.

Everything else: rest of the airport.

The two are not connected except by a train that’s outside security.  First of all, this is really, really stupid, on account of the airport would be severely fracked if not actually shut down if anything happened to that train.  Second, it makes me have to go through security an extra time to get to my connecting flight, whenever I connect through O’Hare on an international itinerary.

The problem with this is, when I go through security, I want to get smart.  I restrained myself from saying these things, but that was quite the effort to repeat.

TSA: Take your shoes off.
Avrila: That might be a WMD violation.

TSA: Any sharp objects?
Avrila: Do butcher knives count?

TSA: Has anyone else had access to your baggage?
Avrila: (option 1) My shrinks, but they haven’t been able to do much about it.
Avrila: (option 2) Well, there was a friendly darker-skinned fellow with a towel on his head…

TSA: Has anyone given you anything to carry?
Avrila: Just a clock with some extra wires.

Avrila: (general comment) Defend us, oh thou great defenders of freedom, from four ounce packages of exploding toothpaste!  And thank God you’re here to stop all those terrorists who can’t open Ziploc bags!

Again, I don’t say these things.  Because I know that would be dumb.  But must they really require me to restrain myself twice?

I have no problem with people trying to do healthy stuff. I toy with the idea off and on myself, though I never seem to have a calm and peaceful enough life, so that I can worry about things like what kind of carbs I’m putting in my mouth, for more than a few days at a time, so it doesn’t stick.

I also have no problem with Taco Bell. Heck, this post is happening because I went to Taco Bell.

I just have a problem with…ridiculousness.

Usually I go through the drive-through and eat in my car, listening to my own radio instead of Taco Bell’s, but because the drive-through line was long and the dining room was empty, I ate in the dining room today. During that time, I happened to look up, through the window on the other side of which was the drive-through line.

In the drive-through line, a woman was reading a book on her steering wheel…which would have been fine, except…it was something about a Fiber Diet. This led me to consider the fiber content of most of what Taco Bell offers. While I don’t happen to have memorized the nutrition facts of everything, I know that there can’t be much in, say, the nacho cheese sauce. I would guess that she would’ve gotten more fiber by eating the book instead of reading it at Taco Bell.

I have nothing against healthy stuff and nothing against Taco Bell, but the two, when juxtaposed, are laughable.

Vote plzkthx!

Please vote for my latest lolcat at http://mine.icanhascheezburger.com/View.aspx?icanbecheezb128438724543700000.jpg

If it’s photoshopped, which it might or might not be, they did a decent job matching light sources and focus.  Plus, you know, crazy cute.

I don’t usually put video clips on here but this was so funny I had to. With the exception of the surprise at the end, that could totally be Chilsa…

Click “read the rest of this entry” to view.
(more…)

I found a reading level test page to run paragraphs from stories through to see if I’m being too crazy. The site accomplishes its intended purpose and is easy enough to use. It is, however, funny if one pays attention. At the bottom, it has a “List of sentences which we suggest you should consider to rewrite to improve readability of the text.”

Um, yeah…how about a “List of sentences which you should consider rewriting to improve readability of the text”? Would that be too readable?

*while class is copying a graph with notes on it into their math draftbooks*

Student: Are we ever going to take notes in this class?

Miss Klaus: What do you think you’re doing right now?

Another one learns that the way it was done last year isn’t the only way.

This made me feel a little better about how I’m just not ever going to be able to be in NaNoWriMo: