I have no problem with people trying to do healthy stuff. I toy with the idea off and on myself, though I never seem to have a calm and peaceful enough life, so that I can worry about things like what kind of carbs I’m putting in my mouth, for more than a few days at a time, so it doesn’t stick.

I also have no problem with Taco Bell. Heck, this post is happening because I went to Taco Bell.

I just have a problem with…ridiculousness.

Usually I go through the drive-through and eat in my car, listening to my own radio instead of Taco Bell’s, but because the drive-through line was long and the dining room was empty, I ate in the dining room today. During that time, I happened to look up, through the window on the other side of which was the drive-through line.

In the drive-through line, a woman was reading a book on her steering wheel…which would have been fine, except…it was something about a Fiber Diet. This led me to consider the fiber content of most of what Taco Bell offers. While I don’t happen to have memorized the nutrition facts of everything, I know that there can’t be much in, say, the nacho cheese sauce. I would guess that she would’ve gotten more fiber by eating the book instead of reading it at Taco Bell.

I have nothing against healthy stuff and nothing against Taco Bell, but the two, when juxtaposed, are laughable.

If I’m in heavy traffic and there’s no passing lane, I will not be able to speed up to make you happy.

If you keep tailgating, I’ll slow down 5 MPH. It’s called leaving enough stopping distance to not be middle car in a pileup if the car in front of me has to stop.

If you keep tailgating more so that the grill of your Compensator is the only thing in my rear view mirror, I’ll slow down another 5 MPH. I can do that all day. Obviously it bothers you more than me.

If you pass me as soon as the lane splits and makes a passing lane, you might not believe this but I really have no problem with that. Unlike you, I have nothing to prove as long as you’re not trying to push me around.

If you have your front passenger give me the bird, I’ll roll my eyes. Good for you, you have a finger.

If it happens again, I’ll do the exact same thing. If you drive like a normal human being, on the other hand, we can both drive with the flow of traffic. You pick; my car has air and a radio, so I don’t care which.

As further evidence of the strangeness of humanity, I present…printed toast. All I have to say is, if a guy ever manages to put up with me for long enough that it leads to toasters, I want one that’ll do this kind of thing.

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I saw an apparently-homeless fellow with a sign, on my way between places today…the sign said “Why lie, I just want a beer.”

While I was out at the beach, looking for a good sand dollar (which I didn’t find; I just don’t have the hang of it, I guess), I found something else instead…the plastic connecting rings off a six-pack. Sitting on the beach. Not even cut up or anything, and the people must’ve gone past a garbage can to leave the beach…best possible interpretation is that someone threw it away elsewhere and it washed up on the beach, but it was pretty far above the tideline, so that’s not that likely. I picked it up, ripped it up, and threw it away in the garbage.

I’m not going to say I’ve never forgotten to cut up 6-pack rings at home; I can’t think of a time when I didn’t do that, and I don’t even get 6-packs that often, but it could’ve happened. But at the beach…where you’re looking right at the big wet thing that animals swim in and get strangled by 6-pack rings in…it takes an extra special kind of stupid dillweed to leave stuff like that out, in that context.

I got a crazy deal on a new watch yesterday–it was only about $13 to begin with, but almost $10 off because it had been returned for a dead battery. And the battery cost between $4 and $5, so the whole thing came out to about a third off, with a battery that’ll probably last longer than the factory one would’ve anyway. So, not bad at all.

If I’d been the original purchaser, I would’ve just made the store give me a new battery. Life’s too short, and shopping’s a pain, so just why would anyone voluntarily shop twice for the same thing?

They actually got that free wi-fi thing going in Portland. To the people who’re complaining about it being slow or anything like that: SHUT UP!!!! It’s free internet access! Either throw money at it or deal with what you can get for free.